5-Star Students ٤+

It’s the end of the year. AP season is over. Classes are boring and quiet and tedious. It’s like a ghost town here at school. Every class I go to, it’s only me and 6-7 other students. A normal day in Psych. Whoever said “dying”, I feel you. Because all of the sudden, I’m downloading this goofy app and signing away my rights to mind my business outside of class. It’s the end of the school year with 8 days left, 6 school days to be exact, and now I have tracker on my phone. I’m graduating and all of the sudden my teacher is telling me that EVERY staff member can see EVERY student with one of these “passes”? What even happened to the world? Why are we going digital? Is this the doing of Elon Musk? At this point, just plant the tracker in our brains and let AI take over the world. What’s wrong with the world today? How come adults have this satiating need to control our every move? I definitely did not sign up for this. Especially not when the school year is practically over. So what if a few students tend to wander? Honestly, I’d rather wander around campus for a few minutes, take a walk, say hi to pals, or whatever, instead of being in a dead-silent class for an hour. Lucky for me, I’m graduating soon, but my heart goes out to all the unlucky students who are and will be subjected to this torture. This shame. This app.

It was a cold, gloomy and rough monday morning. Driving to school, I couldn’t help but day dream about my Freshman English teacher, Bertha Wilberts. She was always on my mind. When I arrived at school, I ventured over to Mrs. Wilbert’s classroom and I sat down. I couldn’t help but admire her beauty. Just then, something happened that I never would’ve expected, She popped a squat on my lap and asked “we can play eye tag all day long but when are we going to get it on and make a family?” I was exuberant and immediately pulled my pants off as I was hard as a rock when suddenly, the announcement that the 5-Star app would be mandatory to leave campus for lunch came on the speakers. When the principal finished, Bertha focused her attention back onto me and asked once again, “are we going to do this or what fool?” .5 second after, I responded, “yes.” Just when I thought I was ready, my erection began to fade away and the look of disappointment on Bertha’s face appeared. She got off my lap and kicked me out of the classroom while making a call. What call? I had no clue until suddenly I saw our 6”8 muscular football quarter back enter her room. Please everyone who reads this, DONT DOWNLOAD 5-STAR!!!!

So, I woke up, getting ready for my exam in this undetermined highschool location. Little do I know that my teacher would tell me to download the 5 star app. Hesitantly, I downloaded it. Surely it wouldn’t cause anything, right? At some point in the year, I had enough to get a Nintendo Switch with my points. I was excited to redeem it the next day, so I went to sleep. But the next day, the among us imposter knocked on my door and said he would summon the "eternal wrath of the Skibidi Toilets" onto me. Now I’m in Hawaii eating a taco. I am forever scarred from this app. Don’t download it. EVER! Because of this app, Vegeta bullies me at school 😭😭😭😭😭. And ever since the imposter told me these six words, I was doomed… from the very 5-start. And those six words were… "The one piece is not real." Never download this, unless you want your bloodline to be cursed forever. 5-star? More like 1-star. However, I’ve rated it 5 stars because I want my family back from the eternal damnation of the Skibidi Toilets. Please, 5-Star, bring my parents back.