Learn to Relish Your Relationship

‣ Company: Relish
‣ Founder: Lesley Eccles
‣ Mission: To provide easy and fun relationship coaching
‣ App launched: 2019
‣ Team size: 12
‣ Go-to emoji: 💛

Not long ago, Lesley and Nigel Eccles were managing four startups, three children, and one strained marriage. “We were under a terrible amount of pressure,” Lesley says of their days collaborating 24/7 on pretty much everything.

Hardly the type to leave things up to fate, Lesley dived into books by relationship experts and psychologists to learn how she and her partner could find a more peaceful, communicative, and pleasant coexistence.

The advice was simple: No work in bed. No emailing before breakfast. And an occasional sweet note left on the bathroom mirror never hurts. “Small changes,” says Lesley, “but important ones.”

She made a big change too. In 2018, Lesley left her job and began working on Relish, an app that focuses on “relationship wellness.” It’s a coaching tool that offers simple tips to help couples strengthen their bond—and have fun while doing it.

We caught up with Lesley about turning her own journey into a way to help others.

What’s step one in creating a relationship coaching app?
I reached out to authors and professors of relationship science. I wanted to know what experiments they were running, what successes they were seeing, and how we could translate all that into a technology platform. Those successes often involved daily reminders to be grateful, do something nice for your partner, or just stop and think.

How did those findings inform your work?
I took that core idea of daily reflection and behavioral changes and built a minimum viable product. I recruited 50 friends to be guinea pigs and sent them a suggestion every day, like “Tell your partner about something you want to do together” or “Leave a little note on the counter.” The response was very positive. I knew I had the backbone of my app.

What happened next?
We worked to make it pretty and create ways to tailor our programs to individuals. For instance, our design was informed by the theory of attachment, which states that there are generally four attachment types; we determine yours and tailor your program accordingly. When you understand how you and your partner are both wired, you can move toward becoming more secure.

How did you get the word out?
We talked a lot about how to spark moments of joy for our couples and in the user experience. We spent a lot of time building a joyful execution and introducing little things, like beautiful animations, that come as a surprise. It’s important to keep the spark alive in a product as well as a relationship.

Couples therapy is often still seen as scary. Why do you think that is?
People think couples therapy is worse than going to the dentist, because they don’t want to admit there’s an issue. The idea behind Relish is: Let’s make sure that people don’t end up in couples counseling. Tiny things on the front end can have massive consequences. Building up a gratitude habit is so important, as is being able to see the world from your partner’s perspective. I’ve been with my partner now for 26 years and we’re both still learning things about each other. This morning, he learned that I only butter one slice of bread when I’m making a sandwich. He was horrified.

Relish: Relationship & Couples

Advice for Partner & Marriage

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Relish is a part of the App Store Small Business Program. If you are a developer and would like to learn more about the program, follow the link below.