Countdown to Irrelevance
Your cultural expiration date
Free · In‑App Purchases
Swipe through 100 darkly hilarious countdowns showing exactly when you'll become irrelevant. From "too old for clubs" to "closer to death than birth." Ouch.
Ever wonder when you officially become old? We did the math.
Countdown to Irrelevance shows you 100+ personalized milestones tracking your inevitable descent into obsolescence. Each countdown is brutally honest, darkly funny, and uncomfortably accurate.
WHAT YOU'LL DISCOVER:
- When you're too old for "entry level" jobs
- When hangovers start lasting 2+ days
- When you become the oldest person at the club
- When your slang becomes cringe
- When you're closer to death than birth
- When recovery takes longer than the workout
- When your friends have kids (and you pretend to care)
- When celebrities are younger than you
- When you need reading glasses
- And 90+ more reality checks
HOW IT WORKS:
Enter your birthdate. We calculate exactly when each milestone hits. Swipe through countdowns organized by vibe: Dark, Funny, or Brutal.
Some show years until disaster. Others? You've already crossed that line days ago. Sorry.
FEATURES:
- 100 personalized countdowns based on your age
- Categories: Physical, Social, Career, Culture, Existential
- Dark humor that hits different
- Swipeable cards (because scrolling is for old people)
- Brutally accurate calculations
- Track how many reality checks you've already hit
- No login required
- All data stored locally on your device
WHY YOU'LL LOVE IT (or hate it):
This isn't your typical "inspirational" aging app. No toxic positivity. No "age is just a number" BS. Just cold, hard, hilarious truth about getting older.
Perfect for:
- Millennials having existential crises
- Gen Z learning what awaits them
- Anyone who enjoys dark humor
- People who can laugh at inevitable decline
- Sharing with friends to make them feel old too
WARNING: Side effects include laughing, crying, and immediately texting your friends "I'VE BEEN IRRELEVANT FOR 635 DAYS."
WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING:
"I hate how accurate this is"
"Sent me into an existential spiral. 10/10"
"Downloaded to roast my older brother. Worth it."
THE UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTH:
Your metabolism already quit. Your back hurts for no reason. You grunt when sitting down. The music IS too loud. Your cultural references land in silence.
We're not here to sugarcoat it. We're here to count down to it.
Download now and find out exactly when your relevance expires.
(Spoiler: For some of you, it already did.)
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PRIVACY:
No account required. No data collection. Everything stays on your device. We're not tracking you. Unlike time, which definitely is.
Made with dark humor and existential dread by developers who are also aging disgracefully.
Ratings & Reviews
This app hasn’t received enough ratings or reviews to display an overview.
The developer, Manoj Ahirwar, indicated that the app’s privacy practices may include handling of data as described below. For more information, see the developer’s privacy policy .
Data Not Collected
The developer does not collect any data from this app.
Accessibility
The developer has not yet indicated which accessibility features this app supports. Learn More
Information
- Seller
- Manoj Ahirwar
- Size
- 62.8 MB
- Category
- Lifestyle
- Compatibility
Requires iOS 15.1 or later.
- iPhone
Requires iOS 15.1 or later. - iPad
Requires iPadOS 15.1 or later. - iPod touch
Requires iOS 15.1 or later. - Apple Vision
Requires visionOS 1.0 or later.
- Languages
- English
- Age Rating
13+
- 13+
- Infrequent
Profanity or Crude Humor
Mature or Suggestive Themes
- In-App Purchases
Yes
- Countdown App - Lifetime Pro $9.99
- Copyright
- © Manoj Ahirwar