It’s been a year since I became a member of Love School. Years had gone by since I got emotionally involved with someone who made me crazy. I thought I had overcome all that. But after fighting cancer for 10 years and being lonely and single I got involved with a Avoidant and it was the perfect storm. After he discarded me I had a complete physical, emotional and spiritual meltdown. I couldn’t eat or sleep. My friends and family were worried about me and I was worried about me. I was in this very dark place. I knew that something was not right and this break up was similar to some in my younger days. I had to find a way out. I started searching online and found this online group. It was a little expensive and I wasn’t sure what would happen but I dived in. Intuitive coaches helped me figure some things out about my attachment style and how early trauma and neglect had a role in me adopting the coping mechanism of disorganized attachment style. I started putting the puzzle together and things started to make sense. I learned what I really valued in myself and others as well as what my boundaries and needs are. I began a journey of acceptance of my kind of crazy as well as learning how to read the red flags that people are presenting to me so that I could be aware of what might trigger me. I forgave Jon as I learned about what causes an avoidant attachment style. Although I forgave him I have been able to maintain “no contact” with him now for over a year. I also have set boundaries for any new relationships. Not only romantic but in friendship and business. When I took my energy back I also found myself again. Sometimes I do ruminate about him but I have been able to set time limits in how long I will indulge thinking about him. This online group with my Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous 12 Step group, along with my VA therapist have brought healing to my life and I learned to be loyal to myself.

I joined the app 7 months after my divorce while dating an avoidant boyfriend. I had lost my business in the divorce and had full-time availability. I devoted 4-6 hours a day to coursework in the app. The therapists on staff were absolutely incredible life changing. The group sessions were very helpful. But for me the coursework was the most eye opening aspect of the app. Learning about myself and my needs. Learning about avoidants, realizing that I'd been married to a narcissist for 18 years, these realizations have been pivotal in my life. I just recently became single and dated again. And I instantly noticed red flags that I would have ignored prior to love school. I now trust my instincts and act on that trust. Also learning about inner child work was by far the most HELPFUL thing I've learned in my entire life. She has set me on a healing journey I cannot express how much gratitude I owe her for showing me IFS. Thank you all.

Validation is amazing. Knowing that you have a capacity to be anxious in relationships due to an insecurity based on childhood trauma and adult dysfunction is eye opening and then heart opening. I was afraid to love with my whole heart for fear that it would be broken. I’ve learned to be brave and vulnerable in a way I never thought possible. The coursework, the one on one sessions and the community support at Love Addicts all helped me to complete an amazing journey of self reflection and healing I encourage anyone struggling with an anxious attachment to take. The sooner you start, the sooner you heal.

I’ve been part of this group for almost 3 months and find it incredibly professional and helpful. The information is profound and the therapists and counselors are brilliant. It’s a combination of reading material, live group sessions, one on one counseling (extra $). You can take a test and find out where you fall in the spectrum of attachment style. Then you go from there. I’m ready to sign up for a year.