Silly Con Valley: Startup Sim

Tech Business & CEO Simulator

Only for iPhone

Free · In‑App Purchases · Designed for iPhone. Not verified for macOS.

iPhone

Swipe executive decisions in a new card deck, recruit 6 new specialists, survive live press conferences and leaked employee threads, and fuel VC revenge in 1.48! Welcome to Silly Con Valley — the satirical tech startup simulation where you build the next billion-dollar unicorn (or burn through seed capital in 4 weeks). Set in a sun-drenched, retro-warm California OS environment ("Silicon Dreams"), Silly Con Valley puts you in the CEO hot seat. Pick your archetype, generate a hilarious corporate mission, hire eccentric talent, build disruptive tech products, manage team morale, and negotiate brutal VC pitch battles. FEATURES • RETRO-WARM CALIFORNIA OS ("SILICON DREAMS") Immerse yourself in a vintage 90s-inspired desktop operating system aesthetic. Navigate your company through a tactile 5-tab dock, customizable retro wallpapers, and authentic system window modals. • 21 SATIRICAL CEO ARCHETYPES ACROSS 10 PRESTIGE TIERS Pick from 21 unique CEO archetypes across an expanded 10-tier prestige ladder — from base starters (The Visionary, The Hustler, The Engineer, The Influencer, The Bootstrapper, The Nepobaby, The Futurist, The Suit) to unlockable legends like The Growth Hacker, The Cult Leader, The Chaos Agent, and community icon Pex Luminen. Each archetype features distinct Action Points, custom card decks, and gameplay-altering perks. • PERMANENT ASCENSION PROTOCOL & DEEP PRESTIGE Turn exit victories into generational power! Cash in your IPO success for permanent Ascension perks that buff starting capital, reduce VC meeting cooldowns, expand specialist recruitment rosters, and discipline facility rent burn across all future companies. • TURBO FAST-FORWARD MODE Scale your game speed at your own pace. Toggle between 1.0x, 2.0x, and 5.0x Turbo execution modes to blaze through pitch animations and weekly resolution receipts without compromising simulation depth. • THE CEO'S STORY & UNIFIED FOUNDER'S JOURNAL Every founder has a memoir. Read your running chronological company history rendered in your CEO's unique satirical perspective, review lifetime financial charts, benchmark archetype playstyles, and generate exportable retrospective cards for sharing. • DYNAMIC MARKET TRENDS & PRODUCT LIFECYCLES V2.0 Ride the hype wave of AI Slop, Crypto Bros, Enterprise Bloat, and HealthTech. Keep your products competitive with Major Upgrade v2.0 releases, tackle technical debt with Maintenance Refactors, or gracefully Sunset obsolete software to salvage capital and reassign executive leads. • PITCH BATTLES & EXPLICIT FUNDING ROUNDS Navigate structured funding rounds from Pre-Seed to Series A, Series B, and Pre-IPO. Pitch finicky venture capitalists across London, New York, Hong Kong, and Sand Hill Road with cards, traction proofs, and strict term sheet equity transparency. • ACTIVE NEMESIS RIVALS & HOSTILE TAKEOVERS Competitors aren't passive numbers on a leaderboard. Rivals launch targeted market attacks, attempt talent poaches, and file IP lawsuits. Turn the tables by staging hostile takeovers against multi-billion-dollar competitors! • FORENSIC DECISION AUTOPSIES Insolvency is a learning opportunity. If your startup burns out, receive a detailed forensic decision autopsy breaking down the fatal turning point that doomed your runway. • DYNAMIC OFFICE UPGRADES & INFRASTRUCTURE Start in a humble garage and work your way up to a trendy Co-Working Space and a sprawling $250M Tech Campus! Watch candidate talent and operating burn scale with your office prestige. 100% OFFLINE-FIRST PLAY WITH ZERO MANDATORY PAYWALLS Build from garage to IPO completely free. No mandatory micro-transactions. No online requirement. Just pure, unfiltered startup satire.

  • 5.0
    out of 5
    6 Ratings

What's New in Silly Con Valley 1.48 ("Hype, Chaos & Virality"): VIRAL & CHAOS SUITE • Brutal VC Rejection Slips & Spite Fuel: Losing a VC pitch now delivers a personalized rejection letter with exportable share cards. Channel the insult into Spite Fuel for a 1.15x damage bonus in your next rematch against that investor. • Blurry.app Anonymous Leak Feed: When team morale drops or scandal strikes, anonymous employees leak internal company drama on Blurry.app. Defend your startup with a Burner Reply, a $5,000 Pizza Bribe, or an icy Ignore, and browse all leaks in the new Market Intel tab. • 10-Second Live Press Conference Minigame: Step up to the microphones during high-stakes PR crises. Choose between Gaslight, Buzzword Salad, or Throw CTO Under Bus before the 10-second countdown expires. • Sentient AI Treasury Hijack: AI Slop startups pushing cutting-edge models may encounter a rogue AGI attempting to spend company runway on GPU clusters—shut it down or pivot into an AI cult. EXECUTIVE SWIPE DECK & UX OVERHAUL • Tactile Executive Decision Cards: Monday Standup decisions, rival hostile maneuvers, and feature creep dilemmas now present as a centered physical card modal. Drag left or right (or tap the action buttons) with full, unwrapped stat impact pills showing exact cash, morale, hype, and valuation effects before you commit. • 1-Tap Actionable Fix Pills: Critical warnings in Morning Standup now include direct action buttons that jump straight to Bank Loans, the Product Wizard, the CEO Office, or Talent Recruiting. • Persistent Weekly Ledger Banner: Review your previous week's revenue, burn, and net cash delta at a glance in Morning Standup from Week 2 onward. • Streamlined Desktop Header: Replaced the duplicate settings button with a live CEO stress ring and unified System Menu. THE INSURANCE META & 18-SPECIALIST ROSTER • 6 New Specialists (18 Total): Expanded the specialist roster across Growth, Defence, and Intel tiers with six new satirical hires—Sheryl Sandbag, Spin Doctorow, Ed Snowfall, Nostradumbass, Rupert Smirchdoch, and Ana Nonymous—each with custom pixel-art portraits. • 0 AP Specialist Hiring & Poach Economy: Hiring or replacing a specialist now costs 0 AP (cash only), with a guaranteed weekly draw across all tiers and morale-driven rival poaching counter-offers. PITCH BATTLE, STAGE GATES & LEADERBOARD INTEGRITY • Enforced Funding Stage Gates: VC term sheets now lock the Accept Meeting button until your startup satisfies all target round traction gates, with a unified scroll viewport and clean stage badges. • Office-Scaled Hand Capacities (3 / 5 / 8): Pitch battle hand sizes now scale with your office tier (3 in the Garage, 5 in Co-Working, 8 at the Tech Campus), with accurate turn tracking and instant card replenishment. • Leaderboard Outlier Protection: Added multi-layer score validation and save sanitization to keep Game Center and Play Games high scores fair.

The developer, Millennium Falck Enterprise Oy, indicated that the app’s privacy practices may include handling of data as described below. For more information, see the developer’s privacy policy .

  • Data Used to Track You

    The following data may be used to track you across apps and websites owned by other companies:

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Seller
Millennium Falck Enterprise Oy
Size
156.3 MB
Category
Strategy
Compatibility
Requires iOS 16.0 or later.
  • iPhone
    Requires iOS 16.0 or later.
  • Mac
    Requires macOS 13.0 or later and a Mac with Apple M1 chip or later.
Languages
English
Age Rating
13+
  • 13+
  • Frequent
    Contests

    Infrequent
    Profanity or Crude Humor
    Alcohol, Tobacco, Drug Use or References

    Contains
    Advertising
In-App Purchases
Yes
  • Series A Premium $3.99
  • Nordic Tech Pack $1.99
  • Dot-Com Disaster DLC $2.99
Copyright
© 2026 Millennium Falck Enterprise Oy