The office has your number now, and somebody in it is off sick. REMINDERS Stop coming in and the building starts writing to you. Payroll, about the stapler you took. The plant by your desk. The new guy who has your chair and cannot work out how it goes up and down. Five of them, spread over six weeks, and then it gives up on you, which is the funniest place to stop. Every one of them is written on your own phone: no account, no server, nothing leaves the device, and you are asked once whether you want them at all. SICK LEAVE There is a first aid cabinet on seven of the floors and there is no first aid in it. Break it open and a sick leave slip flutters down over the room. Whoever it lands on signs it, stands up, waves, and wheels their chair out of the building. Cleared, without a scratch. The rest of the floor freezes for six seconds, and the two nearest the door start coughing. A stapler into a cougher counts as a signature, so one cabinet is worth three people and never a whole floor. Management does not get sick leave: their slip comes back stamped DENIED and goes looking for somebody who is allowed to be ill. SEVEN MORE LANGUAGES Arabic, Japanese, German, French, Spanish, Korean and Portuguese. The game opens in whatever language your phone is set to, and there is a picker on the title screen for when it guesses wrong. Arabic reads right to left. The office does not move.

Floor 4 fought dirty, and it took a player writing in to prove it. The IT crowd reboot on a cycle and go untouchable mid-flicker. The tip on that floor told you to short out a server rack, and the floor stood its only rack at the far wall, roofed by two platforms with the whole row in front of it. Two per cent of every throw the arm can make reached it, and the ones that did arrived after the floor was already clear. There is a half-rack by the door now. One hit shorts it, and all five of them freeze for three seconds. While we were in there: Floor 3 has spent its whole life telling you to drop the whiteboard and burst the water cooler. It now has a whiteboard and a water cooler, and the two colleagues at the back of that room are reachable at last. The ceiling lights come down. They were always hanging there. They are now hanging low enough to hit. Floor 15 said Printer. The tray hands you a Chair. It says Chair. Same game. Fewer lies.

The whole office has been redrawn. Every desk, every colleague, and every single thing you throw was drawn again from scratch. Same slingshot, brand new office. What else is new: - It's on iPad now - Sixteen rooms rebuilt, no two shaped the same, picked from a lift panel - A thirty-day notice period. Floors cost days, and when the month runs out HR simply extends it - Duck under your desk when the mail gets loud - The camera follows your throw and finds its own way home - Hit somebody in HR and they file a complaint. It lands on your desk. Throw it back. - New sound for all eleven materials, and a voice for every department - Game Center, with a leaderboard and ten achievements - A damage report after every shift, priced the way a manager would price it