We’ve been stranded in Washington, D.C. but at least we have three pairs of designer socks that we bought for twenty-five dollars. We had to sell these socks to buy bus tickets back home. With our sock sales, we got the attention of the Middle Aged Moms Brigade and they sent us back home. This app saved our lives. We never would have survived without it. Kinda glitchy, though.

Paul created a platform to engage students with their fundraising goals by encouraging personalized pictures added to the student profile as well sending personal messages to follow up on requests. Easy to follow platform. Students enjoyed seeing the leaderboard and groups compete on their dashboard. Dashboard provided list of contributors. Program sent 7 day and 1 day reminders. Enough to gain interest for donations without being overwhelmed with texts.

my grandfather is stuck in the toilet lid and the monkey wont get off me and kim is twerking in a corner i think im having a stroke

I downloaded this app. It was supposed to be a simple game where you tap the screen to make a toilet sing opera. Stupid, right? But everyone on “Big Justice Forum” was raving about it, calling it “the future of entertainment.” I was weak. I was curious. I installed it.At first, Skibidi seemed innocent—just a toilet with legs dancing across a neon cityscape, belting out “Figaro” in an unholy robotic falsetto. But then, weird things started happening. My phone’s screen would flicker, and the app would open on its own at 3:03 a.m., the cursed “Rizzler Hour.” Yes, that’s right—Skibidi had summoned The Rizzler. A pixelated figure wearing a shimmering green suit and sunglasses appeared, wagging a single accusatory finger at me through the screen. “You lack the rizz to uninstall this app,” he whispered, his voice like a thousand mosquitoes trapped in an air horn. I tried everything. I deleted it. It came back. I reset my phone. It reinstalled itself. I threw my phone in a lake. The app showed up on my toaster, blaring opera while burning my bread to a crisp. Big Justice Forum wasn’t any help either. People there just laughed and said things like, “You don’t understand the meta. Skibidi chooses YOU.” One guy, who went by “Captain Tapmaster420,” warned me about the final boss: a shadowy toilet entity called Flushzilla. Flushzilla appeared on the seventh night. I was trying to sleep when my smart home devices all began singing the Skibidi theme in perfect harmony. My ceiling fan spun faster than physics should allow, and there it was: a massive, glowing toilet with fiery eyes and a deep, booming voice.“You thought you could escape the rizz of the Skibidi?” Flushzilla roared.In the end, I did the only thing I could. I moved to the woods, disconnected from all technology, and started a new life without screens. Sometimes, in the dead of night, I still hear faint opera coming from the trees. The Rizzler is out there, waiting for me to reconnect. I can’t do it. I retire.