Stuy Schedule 4+

“Keep going! You can do it.”
- This app

“I had a dream”
- This app

“Just do it.”
- This app

“ And now look again, and see what will naturally follow if the prisoners are released and disabused of their error. At first, when any of them is liberated and compelled suddenly to stand up and turn his neck round and walk and look towards the light, he will suffer sharp pains; the glare will distress him, and he will be unable to see the realities of which in his former state he had seen the shadows; and then conceive some one saying to him, that what he saw before was an illusion, but that now, when he is approaching nearer to being and his eye is turned towards more real existence, he has a clearer vision,—what will be his reply?”
- this app

“Don’t jump off of the bridge”
- This app

When I needed it most, this app was there for me. I received notifications telling me to keep going, listening to me when I needed someone to vent to, stroking my hair, telling me sweet nothings. I love it. I want to have sex with it. I am in awe, and forever I will be in its arms.

Dude, you gotta download this app. It legit allows me to travel through space and time. Last night, I gave my soul to this app to experience all the hype. This is a special feature in the app which notifies me when my wife is pregnant (p.s. this is the 5th time I’m having quadruplets!!!!). The app cured my depression, brain cancer and of course, my wife from my life.
I highly recommend this app!!!

This app is frankly the greatest technological achievement in human history since the moon landing. Perhaps an even greater achievement. In all honesty, this is the epitome of human advancement. If everyone downloaded this the worlds problems would melt away. Forget the ISS. This should be the universal symbol of the space age. Easily worth the 6.83 Trillion dollar investment that went into programming it a thousand times over.