Hold'em Career: Offline Poker
Poker roguelike. No chips IAP.
$4.99 · Designed for iPad. Not verified for macOS.
Now in The Card Career Collection bundle with Blackjack Career! Authentic card roguelikes with unbuyable bankrolls. Zero ads, zero chip purchases.
Hold'em Career is single-player poker with real consequences and zero real money. You get a bankroll and a seat. Everything after that, you earn.
THE FRIENDS TABLE
Every career starts at a home game among friends — six soft players whose dossiers are open from the first hand, each with one obvious tell to find and exploit. Beat the game for $200 and you graduate to the real ladder. It's poker with training wheels that come off — and if you don't want them, switch them off in Settings.
THE RUN
Sit down with exactly one buy-in — no rebuys, no top-offs. Walk with your winnings or lose the stack trying. Bank enough to move up: $100, $200, $500, and finally the $1,000 game. Go broke and the run is over. Milestones you've earned carry forward, so every ruin starts the next run a little stronger. There is no chip store and no way to buy back in — that's the entire point.
THE TABLE
Fifty-three opponents in all, and not one is a difficulty slider — they have habits. Marcus the retired accountant plays nine hands a night and never bluffs the river; Dolores pays to see every flop; the pros upstairs punish every loose call. Play enough hands against someone and their dossier opens one layer at a time: who they are, how they play, their real numbers, and finally the secret that beats them. And they study you back — each character builds a read on your game and starts adjusting, respecting the nit's raise and resisting the maniac's. Tilt is real: stack someone and watch their next hands get looser.
SIX WAYS TO DEAL
No-Limit and Fixed-Limit Hold'em, Pot-Limit Omaha, Short Deck, Five Card Draw, and 2-7 Single Draw — each with a hand guide tuned to the game you're actually playing.
EVENTS, THEN A CHAMPIONSHIP CIRCUIT
Beyond the nightly cash game, events come to town on a hands-played clock, never a wall-clock timer: The Deep End, The Turbo, The Shootout, The Invitational (the whole cast across five tables merging to one), The Duel, The Underground, and The Hall — where the ten Legends of the game sit down and only a champion walks away. Build a $20,000 lifetime bankroll and a second calendar opens: seven Championship Events — the Grand Prix, the Circuit, the Open, the Summit, the Masters, the Premier, and the Championship itself — fixed-buy-in fields against the toughest lineups in the game, from a $3,000 seat up to the $10,000 table at the title match.
WHEN IT GOES WRONG
Broke mid-run, someone at the table may offer a stake — at their terms. Take the loan and they're inside your winnings until you're square. Bust while you owe them and the run ends with a burned bridge.
LEARN THE GAME FOR REAL
Every hand is recorded. Replay any of them with every hole card face-up and an explanation of why each opponent did what they did — no other poker game tells you why. The coach reviews your sessions afterward — pot odds, position, the calls that cost you — and shows the leaks in your actual numbers (VPIP, PFR, win rate by seat), each with a plain-English deep dive. Want help in the moment? Optional hints suggest an action at your Hold'em decisions, with your equity — training wheels, not a solver, and off by default.
NO CASINO NONSENSE
No real money. No chip store. No ads, no accounts, no internet required. Seventy-eight achievements that pay nothing and prove everything. The bankroll can't be bought — that's the whole point.
Updated the store page!
The developer, Actual Clown Productions LLC, indicated that the app’s privacy practices may include handling of data as described below. For more information, see the developer’s privacy policy .
Data Not Collected
The developer does not collect any data from this app.
Accessibility
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Information
- Seller
- Actual Clown Productions LLC
- Size
- 27.8 MB
- Category
- Card
- Compatibility
Requires iOS 17.0 or later.
- iPhone
Requires iOS 17.0 or later. - iPad
Requires iPadOS 17.0 or later. - Mac
Requires macOS 14.0 or later and a Mac with Apple M1 chip or later. - Apple Vision
Requires visionOS 1.0 or later.
- iPhone
- Languages
- English
- Age Rating
18+
- 18+
- Frequent
Simulated Gambling
- Copyright
- © 2026 Actual Clown Productions, LLC
