my school uses myflexlearning, so i decided to download it for my academic improvement. i thought this app would make me smarter, happier, and better and managing my time. i thought wrong. the second i downloaded this app, i started feeling strange. i felt cold, itchy, sweaty. my head was throbbing. my mouth was frothing. i now feel an indescribable urge for violence bubbling within me.i have started to see images: the myflexlearning logo floating around me like a taunting ghost, the little orange circles around the library dates slowly turning gray.....i think i'm losing my mind. i'm now typing this review with one hand as my other arm flops uselessly by my side.a girl in my class drops her water bottle. it spills. i begin to hyperventilate and i try to run but my legs give out instantly. i fall to the ground, hissing and screaming. my teacher stares at me in utter shock and terror, but my classmates are all glued to their brawl stars matches and pay no mind to me. i can feel the light fading..........goodbye, cruel world. thanks a lot myflexlearning.

I sit there, shivering, my headache pounding through my skull like the a great, brolic Minotaur. I could not focus on the chair I sat in, on the breeze on my neck, nor the ibuprofen I held in my hand. I felt weak, unable to lift myself up. I sat there, gave up, and began to tear up. The actions of my body shaking only made my condition worse. I feared for my life, for my soul. Was this the wrath of god? Was I being judged by a being more powerful than I could ever be? When would this end? But there, in the distance, I saw it. A shimmering, yet soothing light. It seemed to pull me towards it, holding me aloft like a cartoon character smelling the sweet aroma of a freshly baked pie. I felt a sudden relief all through out my body. My eyes opened. My body straightened. My head stopped pounding. With this new-found clarity I could really look at this light, and there it was. MyFlexLearning. MyFlexSalvation.

I had spent long nights lying awake. I waited there until morning birds sang and that blue light seeped into my windows. For year this insomnia went on, relief only from the sleeping pills I would get from a distant friend. I turned to these every night to whisk me away, and then it became a problem. I would often fall asleep in bed and then find myself awake, pants-less, and in a dark alley surrounded by feral cats. This happened many times, sometimes I would sleep for days. I lost my job, I sold my things for more pills. Until they stopped working, and then I turned to harsher things, M*eth, mostly. One cold morning I lay in a ditch after finishing up a wild binge when I a hand reach down to lift me up. There it was; MyFlexLearning. I got clean and got a new job. I’ve never felt better. Thank you <3

From the moment I was conceived I understood my singular purpose in life was to be the fastest MyFlexLearning speed runner. Days and nights I grinded my 100% flex schedule speedrun. I was determined to be the fastest, but one man stood in my way. The Holy Spirit. I knew if I was to assimilate to the power of the gods I had to defeat The Holy Spirit’s 100% MyFlexLearning world record. I would have to become God, to defeat God. And ladies and gentlemen that is what I did. I grinded for 40 days and 40 nights. I didn’t eat, I didn’t sleep, I only speedran MyFlexLearning. Eventually after playing the peppa pig theme song did I get it. A 0.04 second 100% scheduling speedrun.